6 weeks later. That's the title of not only the past 6 weeks, but what I would name my editorial (or post).

I am going to do my level best to NOT get ministerial, political or sanctimonious.

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago, post op, that I never posted. I was feeling some kind of way. I wanted to use the word philosophical - but that doesn’t sound right.

I was a week post op, and the “shift” was palpable to probably (definitely only) me. I couldn’t pinpoint if it was paradoxical (seemingly absurd) or paradigmatic (calibrated change). Could it be both?

I was overwhelmed by messages of support, love & prayers. I can’t find the words to effusively express my immense and immeasurable gratitude, so I will keep it simple. Thank you, all.

I’m different. Like obviously, but I mean more in the me I am today is me-er than I was six weeks ago today.

And what I mean by “different” is that my focus is adjusted. On the bigger picture. The more important things. The impactful things. Apart from my basic “I watch out for #1 (me) mentality” which was altered when I became a wife and then a mom, to a more thoughtful I do, I will because I can.

Ok.

I’m a spiritual person. I like church. I finding God’s/His message in everyday life - in my own QUIET way.

I have a point.

On July 29th, 2018 my cousin was participating in Swim Across America. A year later they were called Home. They were a big, HUGE bright light, so brave, so strong, so determined. A year later, I’ve signed all the pages for with decisions & consent for brain surgery. all July 29ths.

Not only am I spiritual, I’m also superstitious, believe in numerology and higher powers.

3. It’s my number. Trust me.

What does ALL this rambling mean? I do. I will. Because I (that “I” should JUMP off the page to you) can. My cousin could, would - dare I say - SHOULD. Because God has earthly plans for each of us until He calls us home - I will, in my cousin’s place.

This has been PARAMOUNT in my recovery. It’s kept me from succumbing to pain, restrictions & all the no you cannot’s.

So onward & upward. I will extending myself to come from a place of yes, for those who cannot - specifically thinking of my cousin. I didn’t “need” a reason per say, but a focus - (yeah I have a vision board) certainly helps.

As I (hopefully) get the OK to get back to it (it being working out, and doing all the things - including work) next week, I hope to make them proud & do it, because I can.